When I fall silent it’s because I truly cannot express hurt . Tomorrow she will be 10 and I will not have very much to say . For those who know me, it’s the rare moment in time when I choose not share my thoughts . Forgive me,It is the only day I have with my daughter. The only day that’s truly hers .

It was me -I chose never to hold her because a lifetime of pain and not knowing her face was easier then a few seconds of having her . The death of a parent or friend is never easy .. the death of a child is unfathomable, the loss and pain compares to nothing I know as it is a continual loss that grows in size -not dissipates in time.

It’s an ugly cry in the back of my everyday that I hold in . The child on the playground that could be her if things were different.
Tomorrow I will do my best to be a strong mom from Wesley bad sadly he usually has to watch me unfold. We,(Neil Silver) have alway made his sister a huge part of our family and Wesley only wants to celebrate her, and that we will do

... Happy Birthday Olivia ... Mommy , Daddy and Wesley are right here ..

                                                                                       -Terese Silver